What if?

Hello, day 4. I’ve been thinking about you for awhile. Especially with Thanksgiving looming, and a brand new sobriety enveloping me. I feel fragile, and hopeful.

One of my favorite questions my monkey mind seems to have latched onto is WHAT IF?! What if I forget my resolve? What if I am too tempted? What if I get weak? What if that glistening glass of Sauvignon Blanc is beckoning too loudly? What if I am the lamest one at dinner? What if? WhatifwhatifwhatifwhatIFFFFFFFFFFFF

—–>>>>>>> realizing that that voice is the little bitch on my shoulder, the one who doubts me and nags and makes me feel not good enough and questions my resolve and generally throws a shitstorm tantrum occasionally. I shall treat her like any child when they are misbehaving and being completely illogical. I shall ignore her. <<<<<<<—–

I’ve found an incredible amount of support & strength in this online sobriety communtiy. UnPickled, Belle, and DrunkyDrunkGirl are three of my favorites. Having honest women who talk about their experiences gives me a sense of community and support I might not be able to breathe without. And I’m accepting that it’s ok to feel these squishy, toe-curling feelings. It’s ok to be unhappy. I just need to be sober.

So with the knowledge that I CAN DO THIS, and I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING, I plan to stay strong and arm myself with an arsenal of sobriety weapons. That would include:

• Sobriety books (my mother is a recovering alcoholic, and I am grateful for her knowledge on this topic)
• Mystery novels – haven’t met a murder mystery I didn’t like. Yeah, that’s me reading those books on the plane. My degree is from Harvard and I read fucking James Patterson. Got an issue with that? 😉
• More flavored seltzer than a goddamned mac truck can handle
• Coffee and tea
• Exercise – oh, I love this one. I’ve always been very into health and fitness (well, with the exception of having a drinking problem, ha). So really channeling my energy into being fit & treating my body well, goes hand in hand with feeling my best and staying strong
• Instagram – check me out at healthappiness. I love looking at pictures of healthy food, new gym exercises, inspirational quotes, and wellness chatter.

Well….what about you?